US Healthcare; a Panegyric

After experiencing the incredible efficiency and overwhelming niceness of those delivering healthcare in Los Altos, it is really hard to be all that cynical, try as I might. The warmth feels genuine and not in the least ersatz. The charming doctor who attended me was highly intelligent, unhurried and seemed to enjoy our conversation. She was also refreshingly frank. After listing the battery of routine tests to which I was to be subjected and carefully explaining the reasons for each, she merely smiled without demure when I ventured to suggest that one reason I was to endure the dubious delights of a colonoscopy was to avoid litigation should something potentially malignant be overlooked;in other words, it was either my ‘ass’ or hers. She told me that over half of US doctors face legal action at some point in their careers.

The phlebotomist was also remarkably affable and my encounter with him counted as one of the high points of my visit. He told me that I'd experience a slight pinch and indeed that was all I felt. Used to the cheerful savagery of the British health service I was expecting agony; this was smooth and virtually painless. I was so disarmed by all this pleasantness that when my urine sample vanished into the spotlessly clean turntable in the corner of the restroom, I was just able to resist the urge to batter the wall and howl hysterically "Give it back ... it is mine ... all mine".

Later in the day I was amazed to find an email telling me my results were available at my private account at the hospital website. They were all there supported by little pop- up boxes explaining the significance of the more recondite terms.

One could point out that in financial terms US health is highly inefficient and that, despite the efforts of President Obama, a large segment of the American population is without access to primary healthcare. Doubtless too I was privileged to be treated in a vastly luxurious clinic in the Silicon Valley; I am sure I would be a mite less enthusiastic were I to visit one on the other side of the Bay. However, grumbling would be unchivalrous, so I won't.