An Advisory Concerning Advisories

Our ‘smart’ alarm clocks and mobile phones seem to be conspiring to scare the very bejesus out of us.  These last few days, we were warned of dense fog and exceptionally hazardous beach conditions; as it transpired, the skies were a pure azure worthy of Tiepolo and we happily paddled at Surfers Beach with barely a ripple.  There are so many warnings that one becomes inured to the dangers and even a tad blasé.  Hurricanes, burning brimstone and rampant succubi are predicted?  A stout umbrella and an extra thick pair of long johns should be more than enough to do the trick.

Well, of course, I am being dreadfully unfair at the expense of our beleaguered if over-excitable meteorologists.  The weather is a quintessentially chaotic system at the best of times (I am speaking in the technical sense) and it is notoriously hard to predict what disasters are coming our way.  In the good old days, a butterfly flapping its wings over Africa was said to be capable of triggering a hurricane in London.  In today’s world of rapidly rising temperatures, a mildly flatulent slug cheerfully trotting about in the midst of the Gobi Desert could cause untold havoc on the Eastern Seaboard of the USA and the most hideous upsets in Pescadero.

“What does he know of Chaos theory?” you scoff.  Well, as it happens, rather more than you might expect.  You see, my wife has become more than slightly exasperated by the state of my messy study so she bought me “Chaos Theory for Beginners”.  This cunning plan may have backfired.  I have started to see Lorentzian strange attractors and pretty little butterflies in the piles of snuff and cigar ash on my desk and have decided to embrace chaos wholeheartedly.   If chaos is not your friend, it is an enemy truly to be feared.